Not too long ago I realized that there was a preponderance of tight ends in the NFL who had names that sounded like the belonged in action movies. Running with that idea, I created a top ten list of the best TE names in the league, without regard for whether or not they belonged to players that were actually good.
Here’s my current list:
- Brock Bowers
- Dalton Kincaid
- Tucker Kraft
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Elijah Arroyo
- Hunter Henry
- Brenton Strange
- Isaiah Likely
- Evan Engram
Now what makes these names so good? Good in the sense of sounding like they were invented by a screenwriter?
1. Alliteration
Names like Brock Bowers and Evan Engram are fun to say because both words start with the same letter. They also look good in print, as if they were designed by an ad writer.
2. Syllable rhythm
Names that pair a one-syllable word with a two-syllable word have a natural rhythm that makes them feel as if the words were meant to be said together. This particularly true with the one-syllable word has a hard sound to it, like the “K” in Brock. Brock Bowers may be the Platonic ideal for action star names.
3. Names that include words that shouldn’t be names
Hunter and Tucker are not people, they are occupations. Assuming you could get a job tucking something. Naming a person after an activity sounds like you are creating a role, not a human.
Loveland is a place. Strange and Likely are adjectives. It’s strange that Loveland is likely to be a bad place to live.
4. Evocative origins
Elijah and Isaiah are obviously biblical names that evoke a certain feeling in people. But even a name that doesn’t appear in the Bible could evoke a certain historical feeling. Ichabod or Adolph would have a similar effect.
(Side note: I just discovered that Ichabod is actually a biblical name. But I don’t think most people would think of it that way.)
5. They’ve already been used as action star character names
Dalton Kincaid is an actual character in a 1980’s action movie. I can’t prove it, but I know it to be true.